Monday, May 26, 2014

Spree Killers

This is obviously in response to a recent event, but unfortunately, what I'm going to say is pretty timeless, so I won't bother linking to the specific stories that inspired this post, since it's almost certainly going to apply equally well to whatever recent mass murder has captivated the public eye at the time a reader finds this. 

I have something of a history of empathizing with the manifestos of spree killers more than most folks are willing to admit.  I look at their arguments and say, "that all sounds reasonable up until the point of the random mass murder".  Over and over again.  Makes a person a bit paranoid when no one else around you seems to think there's anything but crazy and evil in there. 

I have never gone on a killing spree.  I have fantasized about doing so.  I've been tempted numerous times.  The world isn't a just place, and it's easy to just say "fuck it, let's burn the whole thing to the ground" rather than commit to the impossible Sisyphean task of fixing everything that's wrong with the world. 

I'm the sort of person who thinks the world ought to be reasonable, equitable, and just.  That belief crops up in almost every one of these spree killer manifestos that I see.  They look at the world, see that it isn't fair, and can't deal with that fact.  This isn't about entitlement, at least as far as their writings go.  They don't just think the world's unfair TO THEM, though that's usually what made it impossible to miss that the world was unfair.  They think the world's unfair to whole categories of people, and once those proverbial scales have been ripped from your eyes, it's a long journey of seeing all the ways the world is unfair and unreasonable. 

I was in elementary school when I got my first taste of this.  I noticed age based discrimination.  It was compulsory education I noticed first.  The problem, as I saw it, was not that I was being forced to attend school.  It was that people who lacked the knowledge base that I was supposed to be aquiring in school were not being likewise forced to attend simply because they had passed an arbitrary age line.  I considered violent revolution as a potential solution to this problem, since history classes had made it clear that was how you accomplished change on that scale.  I lacked both the martial skills and the personal charisma to organize such a revolution while in elementary school, so that plan didn't get anywhere. 

The problem I was looking at wasn't just childishy whining that I was being forced to go to school.  It was recognizing that an entire category of people, of whom I then happened to be a member, were being systematically discriminated against, and deciding that something needed to be done.  I was repeatedly told I'd change my mind as I got older, but the fact of the matter is, I'm still that young boy who saw a problem, and occasionally toys with the idea of violent revolution in order to fix it. 

The reason I never went on a shooting rampage is that I came to the conclusion it wouldn't be effective.  I've seen so many of these spree killers over the years, and each time it's the same thing.  People handwring over "what could have brought this on" and then people utterly ignore the efforts those killers made to explain exactly that, instead preferring to cynically exploit the killing spree as a means of advancing their own pet issues. 

I'm still looking for a way to fix the obvious injustices in the world.  I've eliminated random mass murder as a likely avenue.  Irrationally, I hold out hope that one of these days I'll find a tool that will work. 


  1. Those people were disturbed and their actions horrendous. However many pedophiles share your views. They dream of killing all women, killing those who don't support their needs to as they say "fuck baby cunts"- they dream of being able to do anything to kids. To relate to them shows that it doesn't matter that the California shooter hated women (as if women are objects with no rights like your view of kids). He killed innocent people who didn't actually oppress him. You relate because you don't care about others and only want to do anything that pleases you.

    Like the chan people i would not be surprised if your sexual fantasies involves violence to kids if not now it will.

    1. As to pedophiles wanting to kill all women, that doesn't make any sense. Just because I don't want to fuck women doesn't mean I want them dead, anymore than the fact that I'm not gay means I want men dead.

      I won't lie and pretend I don't occasionally find the need to always be a better person than you chafing. But you have absolutely failed to put yourself in the killer's mindset. You've made no attempt to engage with his position and see why the specific people who ended up dead were targeted. Just more proof that such killings aren't an effective means of raising awareness, I guess. Your awareness certainly wasn't raised.

      If you want to get into the details of my sexual fantasies, we can do that. I find I generally don't get much out of nonconsensual fantasies. I don't really see anything sexy about the inherent rejection that such a fantasy would involve. I can manage alright on a fantasy involving a pre-arranged BDSM scene, but that really relies heavily on trust and consent.

  2. Despite seeing pedos when are open and safe you remain anonymous. Surely a person with good ideas will come forward! Brilliant scientists in the past who brought forth their discoveries risked everything but basically helped the future. If you are truly certain (like other pedos have been) why do you hide? You even discuss changing the minds of folks....Oh then again a person with self serving interest to have sex with little girls, destroy/ignore their personhood (you have fantasy of raping them which explaims yoir lack of sympathy for rape victims) discard them (you have expressed clear disdain for adults and no interest in child outside of sex. You can't delevop a relationship because you are unable to connect with people even girls. The fact you say that you can't be friends with girls because you feel you will be sexually. This assumed the girl wants sex as much as you.  This assumes little girls are even interested in sex and interested in doing it with an with adult. Surely if you cared you and weren't a user of girls could delevop a relationship knowing sex isn't a option. However in reality you don't desire to connect with the girl nor care about her personhood. Your selfish desires prevent you from these things because sex is not an option.

    1. A person who knows they are righteous (as you speak from a moral high ground), he or she plans on improving the world, risking everything. Civil rights for minorities, women, and LGBT community demonstrate this. MAPs aren't righteous nor plan on making the world better for any group but just their genitals. They don't care of they ruin society as long as their sexually needs are met nothing else matters. Thus you all aren't motivated to enage in civil rights nor have allies who will die for you, or none for that matter. You have a "us vs them" mentality which goes against previous civil rights. Actual civil right actvists wanted to be integrated into society with all their rights given. You should consider doing what white supermacist do. Move to a place (for you another country) where you can practice your beliefs. White supermacist in the US have tried to change things but seeing (like you and others like you) have self serving interest that involve taking rights way from others, causing serious issues, promoting bigotry  (against parents, adults), promoting personal opinions and ignoring science while uplifting pseudoscience and dismantling our current society to fit your self serving interest. Additionally many white supermacist are anonymous toting the same claim that you and other adult sex people regarding safety, job security etc. Finally what you propose only involves rights that serve your interest not the children. If you care about children more than actual caretakers (as you claim) of children you would risk your life to make sure you try to help all those children who are getting "abused" because they can't express their sexuality or whatever else you claim.

    2. Your delusions are offensive because you have no idea how much parents and loved ones have sacrificed for their children.  People have literally died to help their children. Yet you can't sacrifice your anonymity. You can pretend to care about children but refrain from claiming parents do not care like you. You need serious help if you honestly believe parents are abusing their children because children cannot have sex. Especially because you do nothing but complain about how you can't use little girls for sex. Children are human beings that have real problems that need to be addressed. You only care about your selfish desires. You should change your name especially since you only focus on one right that happens to benefit you. The other issues in a child's life don't have the possibility of benefiting you.

      What if the child passes the test but feels then were raped? How do you handle "false rape allegations". The adult said the child regrets it but they consented. I doubt you would rule in favor of the child considering your rape fantasies and your chronic victim status.

    3. I know you're just here to troll, but I'm curious in spite of myself. How exactly do you envision me revealing my identity serving to help my cause? Because I don't see how it would be of any help whatsoever. Self-sacrifice is great and all, but there has to be a point to it, you know?