Monday, April 14, 2014

My Nightmare

Here's a bit of worst case scenario planning.  What I fear would happen should my identity and sexual orientation become widely known in the same circles.

1) Loss of friends.
I'm an introvert who doesn't make friends easily.  I build my social relationships slowly over time, and invest deeply in every relationship I have.  If those friends reacted typically to the revelation that I am a pedophile, I can expect to have them all systematically reject me and cut me out of their lives.  Additionally, even the ones who might otherwise be sympathetic might cut me off for fear of how their continued association with me would make others see them. 

2) Loss of family support.
Being blood doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things.  Sure, they say you can't choose your family, but the fact of the matter is, family can disown you almost as easily as your friends can.  I've seen my family react to a child porn charge.  Admittedly, there were other negative feelings about that individual which pushed things over the edge, but I can't just pretend I didn't see what happened, and that I didn't hear the words they used when talking about the situation. 

3) Loss of employment.
Seriously, why would anyone willingly accept the public relations risk that comes with having a pedophile on staff, regardless of whether the job involves kids or not?  It doesn't even matter if the boss is personally prejudiced or not.  It's simple economics that unless what I can do is completely unique and indispensable, and the business will literally fold without me, I can't expect to have a job of any sort after this gets out. 

4) Loss of freedom.
It doesn't matter that I haven't molested a child.  Charges can be trumped up, and a jury will find it easy to believe any negative story told about me with my sexual orientation known.

5) Loss of life.
There are vigilantes who want me dead.  Some have openly expressed such a desire to me personally, with my safety being guaranteed by my anonymity and their incompetence at  finding me.  Others have simply expressed a desire to hurt or kill anyone like me they come across.  I am a socially acceptable target, and of course, any attempt I make to defend my own life will just lead back to worry number 4.

With these very real concerns, some of which I can see others living out in front of my eyes, it's a minor miracle that there have been three human beings in my life that I have deliberately trusted with this information, because I trust both their good intentions, and their competence. 

3 comments:

  1. Nobody has to accept you. Especially if they have or know kids that need to be protected. You would probably brain wash kids into believing what you believe. Additionally you think everything kids to is sexual and means they want sex. Nobody wants their kids being exposed to things like that.

    I've read your post on psychforum and here. You are pro-contact and thus desire to be with kids sexually. So why would i believe you to be trustworthy? Your mindset shows that you rationalize inappropriate behaviors. You may say "i've never hurt a child and never will"

    Oh in your mind sexual acts you do to kids aren't rape if they consent. Based on yours you have been sexually with a child but not caught. You probably view illegal and legal (non sexually mediums of kids that you make sexually) cp.

    If you don't commit crimes you will never be judged by a jury, your guilt (or rather fear of being caught pedophiles don't feel guilt because they rationalize anything to be good) is showing.

    You are still alive and nobody has hurt you. People say things all the time.

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    Replies
    1. "Nobody has to accept you."

      Of course they don't. Fortunately, some people do. What you're reading is explicitly called out as a worst case scenario. In truth, I have friends and loved ones who know and are accepting, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. How worried I get during my down moments helps put into context how good I really have it when the worst case scenario doesn't come to pass.

      "Especially if they have or know kids that need to be protected. You would probably brain wash kids into believing what you believe. "

      Don't we all want to pass on our values? Seriously, the way you antis treat innocuous things as sinister the moment a pedophile does them.

      "Additionally you think everything kids to is sexual and means they want sex."

      For all you claim you've been reading my posts, your comprehension is abysmal. Yes, some kids want sex. That doesn't mean everything they do is sexually motivated.

      "Nobody wants their kids being exposed to things like that."

      Actually, some of us have enough respect for the basic intelligence of children to let them make up their own minds about things. You expose them to all kinds of different viewpoints, offer information and context, and you trust them to make good decisions. You'll find they rarely disappoint you when yo take that method.

      "I've read your post on psychforum and here."

      Then again, you are pathetic at reading comprehension.

      "You are pro-contact and thus desire to be with kids sexually."

      That's not what pro-contact means, idiot. Pro-contact is a political position espousing the idea that there should be legal reform to decriminalize consensual sexual activity with young children.

      The fact that I desire to be with kids sexually is because I'm a pedophile, not because I'm pro-contact.

      "So why would i believe you to be trustworthy?"

      Frankly, you're a closeminded bigot, so you'll never consider me trustworthy. It's not as though you haven't made it clear that nothing I can say would change your mind. Though I do appreciate the conversation nonetheless.

      "Your mindset shows that you rationalize inappropriate behaviors."

      Oh? What "behaviors" exactly are you referring to?

      "You may say "i've never hurt a child and never will""

      I say a lot of true statements. I'm an honest person. See my posts on lying.

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    2. "Oh in your mind sexual acts you do to kids aren't rape if they consent. Based on yours you have been sexually with a child but not caught."

      Nope. I haven't been with a child sexually. Much as I regret that fact some days, I've been celibate. Though as you can see, I certainly don't refrain because I'm afraid for myself. Jackasses like you judge me as though I've already molested a child, so if it were just being afraid of you, what more could you threaten me with to keep me in line. If your judgement were my only concern, there'd be no reason for me to not have sex with a kid.

      Unfortunately, how you judge me isn't what worries me. It's what you and your kind would do to my hypothetical partner that stays my hand. Hostage taking works on me, to my shame.

      "You probably view illegal and legal (non sexually mediums of kids that you make sexually) cp."

      You've got me. I do occasionally walk through the diaper isle and get a kick out of all those pictures of topless little girls. But why are you hedging your bets by mixing in perfectly legal materials? You weren't at all shy about calling me a child molester just one sentence ago.

      "If you don't commit crimes you will never be judged by a jury, your guilt (or rather fear of being caught pedophiles don't feel guilt because they rationalize anything to be good) is showing."

      The old "nothing to hide, nothing to fear" idiocy. Is there really anyone alive on the planet who actually believes that?

      "You are still alive and nobody has hurt you. People say things all the time."

      Yes, trolls like you do seem to enjoy talking shit at me instead of actually taking any kind of action to protect my supposed victims. It's almost as if you and your brethren don't actually care about those kids you claim I have and will hurt, and you're just here to get a cheep shot in.

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